Post the Tenth: Let's talk religion.

Okay, this is one of those topics I said I'd never cover, but here it is. Confronted by a survey by one of my teachers, I was asked my beliefs in God. Do I? Don't I? How much, or how little? Here's the extended version of my answer.

Personally, I believe in God. I believe there's some sort of intelligent force behind the creation of the universe for the following (technically incorrectly labeled but still amusing) reason:

Oversimplified... but the point remains.

Yeah... no. I don't buy that the universe randomly, perfectly exploded into being. The chances of that happening- or at the very least happening in such a way as to produce us- are (pardon the pun) completely astronomical.
But here begins the heresy: I also recognize that the Bible is flawed. Things get lost in translation from the original text (because- and let's face it- ancient Hebrew to modern English is impossible to pull off without violating the intended meanings and implications of every word and phrase). Politics happened, leading to re-translations. Ideals changed with the centuries, which led to re-re-translations. And that's not even getting into the other such problems plaguing the self-contradicting mess we have today. The point to all of this is: you're not reading God's Word. You're reading the literary equivalent of God's Word as filtered by a game of Broken Telephone.
But of course, that's not the end of our religious woes. No, that hardly scratches the surface. People have taken the words written thousands of years ago and mistranslated and mistranslated again as justification to be serious dicks, completely ignoring the core values written in the very same book. Whether it's offhandedly remarking about how gays are disgusting and that God doesn't love them while claiming to practice a religion that teaches tolerance and peace, telling people with a smile that they're going to burn in the eternal fires of Damnation because they're Presbyterian instead of Catholic, or having their child sing a song in front of the entire congregation about how Ain't No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven... they have all completely missed the point. Christianity preaches tolerance and peace, so beating a man to death simply because he has a boyfriend is in direct violation to your supposed faith. Furthermore, the first of the Ten Commandments- set forth by God when we made it clear we wanted to govern ourselves- is "Thou Shalt Not Kill", which translates into modern English as "don't freaking kill people, dickweed". Next, saying that God doesn't love homosexuals is equally retarded, because God is often referred to as a being of unending love and peace, whose grace is enough for all of mankind. Not, "all mankind, except for you guys over there". If He was offended by their existence, they wouldn't exist. Kinda comes with the whole "all-powerful creator of the universe" thing.

I like this guy's style. He knew what he was talking about.

Ask me about the theory of evolution. I will tell you that it is not an affront to Christianity, does not undermine God in anyway, and, in fact, God used evolution as part of His master plan to help his subjects "go forth and multiply". They can't very well go forth and multiply if they can't adapt and change to survive their environment, now can they?
Yet, people seem up in arms about EVOLUTION, EVOLUTION, claiming that believing in it and believing in God are mutually exclusive, when the two can go hand in hand perfectly without conflicting at all. Big Bang and intelligent design? THOSE are mutually exclusive (unless, of course, we claim that God Himself kicked off the Big Bang, which is an idea I'm willing to accept as valid).
I'm not atheist, but at the same time I don't know that I really align to any of the major branches of the Christian faith. Organized religion, in my mind, isn't a wholly bad thing, but it's not entirely a good thing, either. Like-minded people gather together to talk about and hear about and learn about the God they believe in, which is great. But it presents two problems: First, the opinions of the preacher can become the truths of the congregation. And if the opinion of the preacher is that "God Hates Fags" (looking at you, Westboro Baptist), then the congregation could start to believe that God hates homosexuals, and take hateful action against them.
That's bad.
Second, they're not traveling outside their comfort zone. Debate can be a healthy exercise that nurtures understanding, but as of right now we have denominations pointing fingers at each other screaming "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG" when they practice basically the same beliefs.
And that's stupid.
I'm a truth seeker, always have been, and the truth is that we don't know the truth. We'll never learn the truth until we've clocked out. Now, what I believe that there is someone up there, surrounded by millions of smaller someones. I believe in God... just not the same God everybody else seems to.
I believe that the Bible is a perfectly reasonable set of guidelines, that lost its own way somewhere down the path. If you look hard enough, you see what it was trying to say, as long as you don't take everything there as perfectly literal. Because things do get lost in translation, let's face facts: every version of the Bible, after the first, is an adulterated copy.
I believe that God is a loving and caring being who has a sense of humor. You're probably not going to Hell if you crack a joke in church, doubly so if it has something to do with Him. And since He loves all people, big, small, male, female, gay, straight, it's pretty pathetic to pass judgment on somebody for violating God's law, when He so generously sent his son to make sure we weren't all eternally screwed even after we'd flipped him the middle finger multiple times.
I believe that maybe the worst things that happen to us in our lives- the stupid, inane, unbelievable crap that causes us to lose belief- happens for a reason. A tragedy can bring together two people who wouldn't otherwise have looked at each other before it happened. A Midwestern family moved out into the middle of nowhere Southwest by an abusive husband can leave him and then find someone new, unexpected, who makes them happier than they've ever been. The death of a family member can be the catalyst for conversation and the healing of decades-old scars. Without these terrible events, things never could have gotten better. Despite appearances, I think He is looking out for us. The movie Evan Almighty (much as I dislike it) stated it wonderfully in a scene between Morgan Freeman (playing God) and whoever the heck was playing the main character's wife: God tells her, essentially, that people keep asking for miracles and assistance, but it's easier for them to overcome future trials if He lends them the strength to overcome, instead of simply overcoming it for them. People don't grow when everything is done for them. They have to face challenges. And when they do, they make their own miracles.
Of course, I could be ostracized by saying any of this in public. Even though I'm actually saying "God exists", the moment "but..."leaves my lips is the moment I've gone from saved to damned in the eye of everyone in earshot.

Methinks my kind doth protest too much. Then again, you probably gathered that.

In conclusion, I'm going to Hell no matter what I do, so I'm going to stick to my heresies and see where that takes me.